Dating an Indian man comes with many complications, and I’m delighted that we got past them and had our fabulous intercultural wedding last year, but the road hasn’t been easy at all.
If you’re in a relationship with an Indian man, there are some serious points you will need to consider if you’re planning a future together.
I have seen many intercultural relationships with foreigners in love with Indians come and go, and some of the biggest issues they came across are listed below.
Family Values: How Traditional is your Indian boyfriend?
The first time I met my boyfriend’s family, I had been told that I was going to ‘his’ house.
Of course, I presumed this was a house that he independently owned, and did not expect to be greeted by his mother when the door was opened.
(I then tripped over the step but that’s a story you can read here.) If you’re in a relationship with an Indian man, you’re likely to be in a relationship with his family too, as their values and opinions will be projected onto you, through him. Do his family want him to marry a nice Indian girl because he is the oldest son?
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When I tell strangers in India that I am married to an Indian, their reaction ranges from shock to delight.
Being in a relationship with an Indian, and a happy and successful relationship at that, hasn’t been easy.
As a blonde eighteen year old, and a foreigner in love with an Indian, I came across a lot of opposition from my Indian man’s family and my own, and for a while, it felt like I was constantly justifying my relationship to everyone.
If he is a younger son you’re likely to face less opposition than if he is older, as the older son will inherit the majority of the family assets, and will be relied upon to provide for the parents as they age, in many traditional Indian households.
Has he always dreamed of living with his family after marriage and taking care of them?
Have these serious conversations early on, and understand that an inbuilt cultural expectation, is not easy to shift.