I don't know why I did it or started, I guess it turned me on - I've always had a sort of wild sexual side that I keep repressed.
I didn't feel that guilty about it in high school though, I didn't have a girlfriend - the only thing I had to do was hide it from my parents, which wasn't that big of a deal for me.
Anyways, here comes college - still doing the whole cyber sex thing. We both fall in love and we start to develop a great relationship. She has past issues with abuse and rape, so she is sort of uncomfortable with sex sometimes.
But here I am, doing it while I still have a girlfriend - to be honest, I disgust myself.
When I started I was just doing AIM chat rooms or something like that, and then I started doing ones on the internet and in other messengers, finally I would go on sites like stickam, and try to have cam sex - although I was rarely successful - mostly it was just me getting off for other girls.
I did go on cam a lot, but they rarely went on for me.
I wasn't sure to where to put this, so I figured here was the best place.
I guess I'll give you the sparknotes version of the story, since it's sort of late and I have to get to bed.
I'm 21 years old and have been dating a girl that I love, a lot, for almost 3 years now.
Pretty much everything is great in our relationship - we get along really well, we both love each other a lot, talk really well, enjoy spending time together, etc. I guess it's only somewhat recently that I've come to this realization. I don't really remember, but a long time - and since before I was in this relationship.
I was never really in any relationships before her (which started when I was 18) - just some casual hook ups in high school and whatnot.
Anyways, I have been on and off with the cyber sex over the years - but I can never seem to kick the habit, even though I try.
But now, it seems to me that it's that much more urgent for me to stop.
I used to justify it when I was young as just an youthful infatuation or something - I would grow out of it...